Austin Au Naturel

Imagine yourself a fresh-faced country boy just arriving in the dazzling city of Austin, Texas. You’re surprised at the green rolling hills (isn’t Texas flat and covered with pavement?), awed by the perfect September weather (it’s snowing where you come from), and slack-jawed at the amazing musicians and crowds of revelers down on Sixth Street. The Tex-Mex food is surreal. So is the barbecue.

There’s even a lake, which you set out to explore right away. A helpful park employee at the first stop directs you to a beach with sand. You follow his directions, park, and wander down a winding trail: excited, inspired … and unsuspecting. The experience turns out-of-body when you near the beach clearing. On the trail in front of you is a portly older gentleman wearing nothing but a fanny pack and tennis shoes. Your instinct is to bolt like a frightened gazelle, but you stand frozen, looking past the unencumbered fellow — and you find that he’s not alone. It’s naked folks, 30, fully clothed and red-faced country boy, one.

Yes, this is a nude beach in the middle of Texas. This is Austin — where the hippies and the rednecks put aside their differences and come together in celebration of Willie Nelson or Stevie Ray Vaughn; where a fellow known for hanging around downtown in not much more than a thong runs for mayor on an annual basis (and gets two thousand votes), where Keep Austin Weird has become a widely embraced slogan adorning bumper stickers and t-shirts.

But not to worry, if — like this particular country-boy — you’re perfectly happy when the emperor keeps the robes on, there is balance to Austin’s eccentricity, just enough normality to make the strangeness endearing. Whether you RV on the wild side or drive the straight and narrow, there’s something here for travelers of all types.

Normal things to do

Even if your tastes lean more toward country than rock and roll, more 50s than 60s, more coat and tie than tie dye and tattoos: Austin will not disappoint. Just take a look at these “normal” activities. Sure, there’s no piercings required, but they’re still a heck of a lot of fun.

Tour the Capitol

This is a bit of a no-brainer—it would be difficult to miss the 311-foot granite mammoth of Renaissance Revival architecture resting on one of Austin’s highest points—but a tour of the inside is recommended as well. The Texas capitol is the largest state capitol in the U.S. (of course) and it’s a good place to start learning about that famed Texas pride. Fans of Texas history and American politics will really enjoy it, and the park-like ground surrounding the government building is a great spot for a picnic.

Take a Ride on the Dillo

Sure, it might sound a little strange, but these bus reproductions of historic trolley cars are a very ordinary sight around town. Plus, they’re perfect for parking your rig and navigating the town. They can take you to, from, and through downtown Austin, the Capitol Complex, the University of Texas campus and nearby neighborhoods. Better yet, they’re free to ride. The buses circulate at a good clip and are a nice way to navigate when you want to avoid the traffic headaches downtown. For more information contact the Capitol Metro Transportation Authority at (512) 474-1201 or visit www.capmetro.org.

Bob Bullock Texas State History Museum

The Bullock museum is a great stop, that is, if you haven’t had your fill of big buildings. This monstrous museum is large enough to hold the original statue from the top of the State Capitol, a 1/3 scale model of the Lunar module, a full-size windmill, and a circa 1940 AT-6 “Texan” airplane. Ross Perot may be hiding in there somewhere too. The smaller exhibits include historic documents, dioramas, talking displays, videos and artifacts. It’s a non-collecting museum, so the exhibits change from time to time. In addition to three floors of interactive exhibits and a museum café, there are two theaters: the Texas Spirit Theater featuring a special effects show, and Austin’s only IMAX Theatre. Admission ranges from $5.50 to $13.50 for adults. (The higher admission is for the exhibits and both theaters.) Senior rates are available.

Visit UT Campus

Okay, you may run into some weirdness if school is in session, but what college campus isn’t a little bit strange these days? Littered with sculptures and fountains, and dominated by the Tower and Royal-Memorial Stadium, this beautiful campus is worth a tour. Yes, as a former Longhorn, I may be a bit biased, but if you really want weirdness, head 100 miles east to College Station, home of the whooping Aggies.

In addition to the LBJ Presidential Library and Museum, the largest and most visited Presidential Library, other good stops include the Ransom Center, home of an original Gutenberg Bible (among other treasures), the Jack S. Blanton Museum of Art, and the Texas Memorial Museum.

I’d tell you to take in a Texas Longhorns football game if possible, but unless you’re a season ticket holder or friends with Bevo the mascot, it may actually be impossible.

Check Out a Local Band

Austin is the self-proclaimed Live Music Capitol of the World, and with more music venues per capita than any other U.S. city, it’s a tag that’s hard to argue. The majority of those venues are packed into a several block radius surrounding Sixth Street and Fourth Street downtown, and if you walk there on just about any night, you’ll find yourself awash in all types of music, from jazz, blues and rock to bluegrass, tejano, and country — plus everything in between. Also bolstering the nickname are huge music festivals like South By Southwest (each March), and the Austin City Limits Music Festival, as well as oodles of other smaller festivals. The Austin City Limits television program, filmed at the UT campus, is the longest running live music program on television. Free tickets are distributed at random locations one or two days before taping. For more details call (512) 475-9077.

Some local favorite artists include Monte Montgomery, Marcia Ball, The Lounge Lizards, Bob Schneider, Trish Murphy, Robert Earl Keen and W.C. Clark, although the list of great acts is thousands long. There’s an equally impressive list when it comes to venues, but some of the greats include Antone’s, The Backyard, La Zona Rosa, Saxon Pub, Babe’s and Stubbs.

Visit the Parks

As if it weren’t enough to be known as a city burgeoning with music, Austin also gets big press for great running, hiking and biking trails in its many parks. Zilker Park, just southwest of downtown is a popular spot, with the famed Barton Springs pool (a natural cold springs that is perfect for the summer months), a sculpture garden, hillside theater and nature and science center. Zilker is connected to Barton Creek Park (the Greenbelt), which runs for miles along the creek and encompasses several thousand acres. Waterloo Park (Austin was originally named Waterloo) is a smaller park in the heart of downtown that’s often a site for concerts, festivals and other special events throughout the year. Pease Park, west of the University, runs along Shoal Creek and features picnic tables, a playground and wading pool, sand volleyball courts and a disc golf course. Hamilton Pool Preserve, 30 miles west of town, is a great place for a swimming day trip. Of course, these are only a handful of over 200 parks, but you can’t go wrong at any of them.

Hit the Outlying Hill Country

Heading to Austin by RV is a great way to go because there’s so much to see in outlying areas, regardless of the direction. To the north, just off I-35, you’ll find bedroom communities like Georgetown, a quaint town centered by a stately, old courthouse square — a perfect place for antique shopping or a stop at the Thursday Farmer’s Market. To the east you’ll find Elgin (famous sausages) off highway 290, and Bastrop, set among the pines on highway 71, featuring a beautiful state park nearby. To Austin’s south side, I recommend San Marcos and New Braunfels. Both have gorgeous rivers (the spring-fed San Marcos and the Guadalupe) and plenty of opportunities to take advantage of the cool waters. Try the Aquarena Center in San Marcos and any of the river outfitters in New Braunfels.

To the west, a little farther off the beaten path, there are a few gems you won’t want to miss. Pedernales Falls State Park (Highway 3232 off 290 West) is definitely worth the short drive. The water here is beautiful, there are miles of trails winding through the trees, and the facilities are decent (campsites with water and electric). Inks Lake State Park to the north is another winner. Keep rolling west on 290 and you’ll reach the hamlet of Fredericksburg. This charming town with German roots has become a hot destination for retirees, featuring six RV parks, great shops downtown and several nearby wineries. From here, you can take a quick trip north on FM 965 to Enchanted Rock State Park. The “enchanted rock” is a massive, pink granite dome that is 425 feet high and covers 640 acres: a very unique place to visit.

On the weird side

Let’s move from the unique to the downright odd. True to the roots of a bohemian migration to Austin in the 1960s, there are many activities and locales here that always raise a few eyebrows. Of course, most locals and native Austinites wouldn’t have it any other way.

See the Bats

That’s right, you can join the throngs of people who line the Congress Avenue Bridge nightly during the summer months to see throngs of bats emerge from underneath. In fact, the 1.5 million Mexican freetail bats make up the largest urban bat colony in North America. The bats arrive as early as March, but the best bat views are in August when the young pups join their mothers in the nightly flights. It can take as long as 45 minutes for all the bats to exit the bridge. Best bet, call the Bat Hotline at (512) 416-5700 ext. 3636 for times.

Ride In A Hearse

Why do this before you’re forced to? For “Out of Time” limo service, the answer is: why not? What better way for seekers of the strange to avoid parking hassles than Austin’s only hearse limousine service? Call (512) 260-5995.

Visit the Cathedral of Junk

If you like junk, you’ll love Vince Hannemann’s home at 4422 Lareina Drive off US 290-71. Although the house blends with the neighborhood from the street, Vince has turned his backyard into a funhouse (with several stories) made entirely from junk—over 60 tons of it. He is happy to show visitors his creation by appointment. Contact Vince at (512) 299-7412 cathedralofjunk@hotmail.com.

Hike Mount Bonnell

Okay, the only thing strange about this beautiful overlook is that they call it a mountain. It’s really more of a hillock. But it’s still worth the trip at sunset. On the west side of town near Camp Mabry, take W. 35th Street to Mt. Bonnell Drive.

Eat Barbecue at a Gas Station

The place is Rudy’s and there are four locations in and around Austin. Yes, Rudy’s is part country store and gas station, but it is also 100 percent excellent barbecue. There are many, many other awesome barbecue joints and restaurants in Austin, but this rivals the best. Call (512) 244-0439 or go to www.rudys.com.

Hit the Festivals

In the mood to party or people watch? It doesn’t get better than these Austin fixtures. For great costumes and adult-themed fun, there’s the Carnaval Brasiliero that runs the first week of February in the Palmer Events Center.

How about Spamarama, “The World Famous Pandemonious Potted Pork Party” in Zilker Park every April 1 that includes a Spam cook-off and Spamalympics? Eeyore’s Birthday Party in Pease Park (yes, Winnie’s Eeyore) is in it’s 42nd year and retains much of its 60s flavor, with maypole dancing, costume contests, a hippie queen pageant, music and birthday cake. Try www.sexton.com/eeyores/. There’s also the Austin Art Car Parade, (www.austinartcar.com) which features regular folks decorating their vehicles in very irregular ways.

So there you have it: a dose of what keeps Austin strange. See, for all the “normal” folks, it wasn’t so bad. For the weirdos, if none of these activities set your hair on fire, there’s always a little beach on the lake called Hippie Hollow.